The Worst Part

The door closes. The announcement is made. The tires of your car start moving, the plane starts rolling, the train starts setting in motion. The travel is ending. 

Your heart is heavy. Full of wanderlust-experiences and lifelong memories, foreign languages and new impressions. But nevertheless, the center of your body somehow feels empty, your mind is grid-locked, your eyes are grey. 

“Stay, stay, stay. Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go”. It’s a mantra you keep repeating over and over. But even though you keep telling yourself something, it does not necessarily have to become true. You cannot stop the current movement, the movement away from a place towards your usual home and routine.

Because at the end of a travel, the worst part shows itself. Going back, going home. Returning to you relatives and friends, hearing the sentence “You must be happy to be back home!”. If you have a place to call home, it may be bearable. But if it is just an address at the registration office, my condolences. 

„Stay, stay, stay!” Your head is still screaming the words you wish to put into action, but you cannot. A job, studies, family, you cannot leave it all and stay where you are. You have to return – for now. But not for too long. You look towards your phone and see the date: you already have a new travel planned.

Frankly, for you it is always just a new countdown waiting to end which announces the beginning of a new journey. But deep down inside, there are only one or two places on the globe which make you feel a particular kind of way and you are longing to return there again. 

That is why coming back is always the hardest and the worst part about traveling. Because you would rather not. You would rather just want to stay somewhere or go back to your home of choice. These feelings only become stronger every time you return – it is a vicious cycle indeed.

But breaking out is possible. You will be able to make the most out of your longing feelings and your temptation to take the next train somewhere far away. You will be able to start a life somewhere new if you wish to. You can break out of the cycle and set your soul free to explore the world and find itself a place to genuinely call home.

Because one day, you will accompany someone to the airport or train station and wave them goodbye, thinking:

 “I’m staying, I’m staying, I’m staying.” 

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